And deep Inside.

hello all. Yesterday was like the worst valentine's day ever in my entire life.
no okay wait, the atmosphere in school was great, receiving and giving gifts, dedicating songs, playing with the balloons, etc.

but training just shattered my heart into a million pieces ): i'm not ashamed to say this but i didnt make team. i froze at the ccab pitch ystd when Dawn announced our names. i couldn't believe it and seriously, i thought i was in a nightmare.
After all these while, after my schoolmates, classmates, fellow hockers, friends and all were confident and certain that i'd be in, it turned out otherwise.

i'm not trying to be a sore loser and claim that i'm good or whatsoever but i mean, just tell me who isn't shocked. omg i'm really, out of words to describe how i felt yesterday. it was the shittiest and most horrible night ever. oh wells.

it's the first time i've been so disappointed with myself. and even today at school, i didn't want to go for any classes at all cos i felt so sucky and moody. but i want to thank Joyce, Jill and Kenneth for keeping my company throughout and trying to cheer me up.
i walked past the track before i bus-ed home today and my eyes just laid on the D for a good whole minute. images of our trainings on that small little D flashed by and i felt sick again. it really sucks.

but anyways, this has to be said. emmsy, ferlica, rach, shushu, donica, baey, amanda, huihui, liying, barney, thanks for all the hugs and words of comfort yesterday. i'd have felt worse without your presence! really. and of course, for the cheer up msges from floats, joyce, jill, locust, vt, quackers, huihui, don, and all who have tried to help in one way or another.

i had a short chat with floats today, and even though i'm not really close to this classmate of mine, his words do mean a lot. thanks yo.

RIGHT. MOVING ON, dinner was at Al Ameen with Ferlica, Rach & Shushu last night. Rach & Ferlica, i'm really proud of you both okay, plesae remember that (: i know you both feel as horrible cos trngs and hockey dinners will never ever be the same again. but please remember that i want you both to be in the team just as much as i wanted to be!

there wasn't track trng on weds cos of Cross at West Coast. i had fun but i felt bad after that cos well okay nvm i should just stop feeling bad about every bloody single thing in life.
sambaey was my motivation towards the end of the race! (Haha!) Well cos i felt like i was gna die already but she just kept going faster and faster so yea and TADA, the race ended in no time, which is good. It was a great start with Ferlica & Rach, and a fabulous finish with sam.
sam 33rd, jessica 34th and me 35th.
i expected better though. the beginning was full of trying to avoid people and cutting people and squeezing onto the small lane -.-
You don't need to guess the guys and girls champs. lol. Allan and Weilin.

AC HOCKERS after cross!

Dinner was at Botak Jones with Ferlica & shushu.

My foot is still hurting from hockey. SIANNNNN.

i miss hockey already. i'm gna feel so emtpy and shit again next week what the hell.
i'm gna plonk myself at the track with the team on weds i hope they don't kill me LOL!

i slept at like 3am on tuesday/wednesday busy baking cookies and wrapping them in the nice paper. well my effort paid off cos my schoolmates loved them! :D
with my maid's fingers -.-

okay i'm gna take a nap ! gonna go for a run with ferlica and rach later to get rid of all the ARGHHHHH inside me. haha that sentence sounds funny. we'll probably go for dinner too (:
EMMSY I HOPE YOUR ANKLE IS FINE ! TAKE CARE AND SEE YA AT TUITION TMR, LOVE YOU EMMS.

``jamiepok chased till the end at 4.58pm